Most people realize that having self-belief is massively important to put yourself on a path to success and joy. But, how can you believe in yourself if you don’t know yourself?
Marta Vieira da Silva had no problem figuring out who she was. Famously known in the world of soccer by only her first name, Marta was born to be a soccer player. Considered by many to be the queen of soccer, the Brazilian player has scored more Women’s World Cup goals, 17, than any other player in the history of the sport and has been named the FIFA Female World Player of the Year six times, three more than the next highest player.
It didn’t come easy for Marta. She grew up poor. In an interview with CGTN America, Marta told the story of how her father left their home when she was just a baby, leaving her mom to raise four kids by herself. All the children had to chip in to help pay the household bills and, at the age of 7, Marta started to work, selling ice cream and fruit at street fairs. She split the money she earned, giving half to her mom to pay the electric bill, and the other half to buy a pair of sneakers so that she could play soccer.
Marta had a passion for soccer from a very young age and honed her skills playing on the streets with the boys from her neighborhood. Although she was an amazing player, Marta had the burden of being a girl playing a boys game. In Brazil, the game was not seen as something that girls should be doing. Women were banned from the sport from 1941 to 1979 because it was not considered to be in their nature to play.
Although the restriction had been lifted by the time Marta was born in 1986, there were still very limited opportunities for young ladies in soccer. With no organized girls teams to join, Marta signed up with a boys team at the age of 10, the only girl on the squad. She was such a crafty dribbler that nobody could get the ball from her and she emerged as one of the best players in the league.
Despite the fact that Marta was a star on the field, she still suffered discrimination from other players. They would give her disparaging nicknames and ask her why she kept insisting on coming around. Even her brother and aunts would question Marta’s mom for allowing her to play with the boys. However, Marta was not deterred.
With all the obstacles placed in front of her, from growing up in deep poverty to gender discrimination, Marta knew in her heart what she wanted to do and who she wanted to be. She did not let other people define who she was. Her drive to play the game she loved was so great that she was willing to absorb the insults and step onto a field where she was told she didn’t fit in. Ironically, she became the queen of the very place she was once told she didn’t belong.
Many people haven’t developed a strong conviction for who they are and what they want to do. This is especially true for teens and young adults. Not everybody is blessed with the sense of direction that Marta had, which tells them I want to be a soccer player, or an astronaut, or a businessperson. That’s completely normal and totally fine.
As you are figuring out what you want to do, it’s important to try different things to see what you enjoy and where your innate gifts might lie. Through the process of elimination you can also learn the things that don’t inspire you. It’s ok to not fit in with what everyone else around you is doing. Trying to keep up with the Jonses will always create the worst kind of misery.
Everyone is on their own path.
We all have a place at the table and, as Marta proved, the best way to fit in is to be true to who you are, not who other people believe you should be. Take off your mainstream blinders and find what’s right for you. Think about it, in the mainstream of Brazil, soccer was once not for girls and out of that emerged Marta, the global queen of soccer.
Do not fear the opinions of others. Whether It be scientific, spiritual, or a combination of the two, find the best ways to discover the best of who you are and don’t stop – keep growing!
[1] Valls, Miuda, “Brazil’s Marta Broke down Barriers to Become One of Football’s Best Players.” CGTN America, America.cgtn.com, August 13, 2019. https://america.cgtn.com/2019/08/11/brazils-marta-broke-down-barriers-to-become-one-of-footballs-best-players
