About the article title – it’s not exactly correct. Justin Rose won the U.S. Open in 2013, so he’s not really a forever bridesmaid, but it sure feels that way. Rose lost in the playoff of last year’s Masters golf tournament, becoming only the second golfer, after Ben Hogan, to ever lose two playoffs at Augusta. And then this year, Rose led by two strokes halfway through the tournament’s final round, before finishing tied for third.
Rose is one of the most accomplished golfers on the tour today. He’s won 13 PGA and 11 European Tour tournaments, and he has finished in the top three of a major eight times. But here’s the rub: of those eight, he’s only won a major once. If you were casting a movie, Rose would seem much more of a wingman than a leading man. Case in point: Yahoo Sports ran a Golf.com story where they said this about him, “Always second. Never a green jacket wearer.”
The world loves a winner, and if you’re gonna write a Hollywood sports script, you’d probably think it’s a good idea for the protagonist to hoist the trophy before the end credits start to roll. You’d think that, but that’s not what a nobody named Sylvester Stallone did when he wrote this little thing called Rocky. What Stallone understood on an intuitive level is that what we love even more than a winner is the scrappy underdog with heart who gives everything of himself when entering the ring. In fact, one of animation studio Pixar’s most important story rules is, “You admire a character more for trying than for their successes.” This fits Rose to a tee.
Rose is one of the older golfers on the tour and is widely admired by his fellow golfers because of the hard work he has put in that typically lands him higher on the leaderboard than most players decades younger. This was acknowledged by Rory McIlroy, the Masters champion, who has edged Rose these last two years. McIlroy stated, “What he’s doing at his age, it’s incredible. And I think everyone would love to see him get another major because I feel like he deserves it.”
One lesson that young athletes can learn from Rose is that winning a championship will only bring you temporary joy. Getting up every day to hone a craft that you love is far more fulfilling. Rather than fixating on a single trophy, high performers learn to value human connection and continuous learning. Scientific research indicates that focusing on the process instead of the outcome generally leads to higher performance and sustainable success.
If your personal identity is completely wrapped around winning a trophy, what happens if you fall short? Do you crumble and go away? Think about it, 91 golfers started this year’s Masters tournament. Are the 90 who didn’t put on the green jacket all losers? They are not. The great ones learn from their mistakes and go back to work to get better. You are only a failure if you stop trying.
Let’s go back to Hollywood. What would you do if you were writing a script and you needed a scene where the audience fell in love with your protagonist? Maybe something like this. Right after the character suffers a major career disappointment, we see him doing something kind for a group of children. How could you not fall in love with him?
This is exactly what Rose did.
At the Masters, Rose was on the 17th when his approach shot landed three feet from the hole, setting up a birdie attempt that would bring him to within one stroke of the lead. He missed the putt. Rose was inches away from competing for the championship, and he let it slip away. Golf.com described what happened next. “He (Rose) started his walk down the back of Augusta National’s 17th green. Then he looked up. To the left and right of the walkway to the 18th tee were several kids. Everyone got a fist bump – a lost lead and another lost Masters opportunity be damned.”
Rose may have lost a Masters, but he won a lot of hearts. When it’s all said and done, it’s the relationships you’ve made and the lives you’ve touched that will count much more than the number of trophies that end up stashed away in a closet somewhere. As UCLA women’s basketball coach Cori Close told Scott Van Pelt on ESPN, “Banners hang in gyms and rings collect dust, but who you become and who you impact you get to keep forever.”
And, by the way, there is always hope for the bridesmaid. In the movie Bridesmaids, Kristen Wiig’s character Annie suffered a series of misfortunes, and her chance at love seemed lost forever. However, in classic Hollywood fashion, the final scene at her friend’s wedding found Annie riding off in a police car with her fledgling love, a cop named Nathan. The pursuit of happiness continued – and that’s what matters most. As Kobe Bryant famously said, “The journey is the dream.”
