Duke head coach Kara Lawson signals to her team during a game. Photo Credit: Vasha Hunt
There are times in life that are hard. You might have a particularly tough load of classes in school. Maybe you’re getting limited playing time because your team is stacked at your position. Kara Lawson, the women’s basketball coach at Duke, was caught on video speaking to her team about the secret to making hard times easier.
She pointed out examples of what people going through a hard time might be thinking. “I’ve just gotta get through pre-season, and then it’ll be okay.” Lawson added another one, “I’ve just gotta get through the junior year of high school, and then the classes are gonna get easier.”
Lawson’s conclusion to this idea that things will get easier might be upsetting to some people.
She exclaimed, “It never gets easier!” However, Lawson added, “What happens is you become someone that handles hard stuff better. That’s a mental shift that has to occur in each of your brains.”
Lawson is one hundred percent correct in her assessment that we all need to develop the grit that allows us to move through the inevitable challenges in life that will come our way. But it can be incredibly frustrating to hear that when you are struggling and don’t exactly know how to deal with it.
Here is a 7-step plan for facing a difficult challenge.
- Acknowledge: When a difficult challenge comes your way, you don’t have to pretend it doesn’t suck. It is not only okay, but it is advisable to be open with yourself and others about the emotions you are feeling.
- Accept: Although it is okay to acknowledge the pain that a challenge brings, you have to come to terms with the fact that it can’t be wished away. You must simply accept that this is a challenge that you have to deal with.
- Appreciate: Tennis legend Billie Jean King famously said, “Pressure is a privilege.” Try to make a mindset shift where you reframe the challenge as a cool opportunity that you are privileged to have.
- Chunk It! What can seem overwhelmingly daunting can be made much easier when you write down a plan that breaks the task into a series of achievable steps (chunks).
- Control What You Can: As you create and start executing your plan, things might come up that are completely out of your control. Do not fixate on the things you can’t control and instead just focus on the things you can do to achieve your goal.
- Be Gritty: Take pride in the fact that, win or lose, you will not give up. Don’t quit!
- Ask for Help: Nobody has reached the peak of their field alone. Everyone needs support along the way. Don’t be too proud or timid to ask for help, especially if the challenge is beginning to impact your mental health.
Lawson concluded, “Make yourself someone that handles hard well, and then whatever comes at you, you’re gonna be great.”
