We all make mistakes. Do you beat yourself up after making a mistake? If you do, take heart, because everyone does! Although it is natural to get down on yourself, it does not mean you can’t work at limiting the negative self-talk. This was the subject when former USC All-American and NFL quarterback, Paul McDonald, gathered with his sons on the GameChange YouTube podcast, McDonald & Sons.
All three of Paul’s sons also played quarterback in college, and so the nature of how to respond to mistakes naturally gravitated to that position. Matt, who spent three seasons at Bowling Green, reflected on his first season there, when the team finished 0-5 in a Covid-shortened season. He said, “Those were some dark days,” and added, “Being the quarterback, you tend to shoulder a lot of the blame. You get all the praise, you get all the blame. Those days, it was mostly blame.”
Being Vulnerable
During Matt’s very challenging season at Bowling Green, he began speaking regularly with Dr. Michel Brown, the team’s mindset performance coach. “He really helped me through those dark times and allowed me to forgive myself, where I can have that next play mentality, not hold onto the mistakes I made on the field, and learn to grow from them and have a positive outlook.”
So, what was it exactly that Dr. Brown said to Matt that gave him the ability to put aside his mistakes and keep forging forward? This might surprise some, but It wasn’t what he actually said; it was that he was there to listen. Matt explained, “Being the quarterback, being the team captain, it’s hard to be vulnerable and share doubts and fears with your teammates. You always got to be that guy that’s always on, that’s always going to lead you in the battle. And me and him would kind of have just one-on-one conversations about what was actually going on, and just having that vulnerable dialogue was so massive for me.”
Accountability and Growth
Andrew and Michael each had a DUI while in college and spoke honestly about it on the podcast. For Michael, the mistake was compounded by the fact that he was at USC during the Pete Carroll era when the team was competing national championships every season and every move the team made was highly scrutinized in the media. Michael recalled, “Mine was publicized in the newspapers. Very public. USC was very, very newsworthy at the time. And here I was, a freshman walk-on nobody, and here I find myself in the newspaper for the wrong reasons.”
When you make a big mistake in judgment, like Andrew and Michael both did, it is natural to feel very guilty about it. Andrew explained, “I felt like I let my family down. I definitely did. More importantly, I let myself down.” So, how do you respond when you’ve made a mistake that is embarrassing and has the potential to define your character? Andrew stated, “I had two options. I could kind of sit there and sulk, or I can work through it, and I can move on. I can learn from those mistakes. And I think the key is, especially with that one, don’t make the same mistake twice and learn and grow from it.”
Self-Talk
You will often hear mindset gurus talk about the need to practice positive self-talk as a means of creating a high-performance mindset. Andrew was honest about the difficulty of doing this during hard times. “I think it’s really easy to do that when things are going well. When you make a poor decision or make a big mistake, it’s really challenging to do that.” Paul added that it is easy to start saying to yourself, “Gosh, am I good enough to do this? Maybe I’m not good enough for this.” But he added that this is precisely the time when it is important to practice positive self-talk. He explained how to do this, “We can’t manage every thought we have throughout the day, but if we’re not feeling good, we should know that something negative is going on in here (pointed to his head), so we need to adjust. Put the good in. I am a good person. I deserve all the good in life that I can get.”
Michael emphasized the need for sports to provide a learning platform that teaches young people the principles of developing a positive mindset that prepares them for the challenges that life brings. He said, “If the kids have the tools to create their own journey and create their own self-confidence, their own inner belief, they can help them navigate those tough situations.”
